On the 3rd day of Christmas, Julia recommended to me…

Xmas Pickle from Urban Artifact (Cincinnati, OH)

and

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)!

Today, I’m serving up Gose (pronounced “goes-uh,” or gōzə for enthusiasts of the other IPA, the International Phonetic Alphabet) infused with a salty green snack to be paired with the iconic salty green villain of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Along with this main pairing, we have some green guest appearances from Pipeworks and Four Quarters. Not ringing any (jingle) bells? Catch up on the beers you missed so far here!

Urban Artifact’s dill pickle Gose is typically a summer release from the brewery, but this year they’re relaunching it as XMas Pickle, nodding to the German-American Christmas tradition of hiding a pickle ornament in the Christmas tree. Brewed with 1,000 pounds of cucumbers, two pounds of fresh dill, nine pounds of sea salt, and more than a pound of coriander per batch, Xmas Pickle is a salty, sour treat. At a crushable 4.3% ABV, these brews are totally refreshing all year round! But don’t just take my word for it—according to one reviewer, “This beer doesn’t just taste like pickles; it is pickles.” If you haven’t tried Gose before, these descriptions might evoke images of a seasick crocodile, but give these salty brews a chance before declaring, “Stink! Stank! Stunk!”

I will not be entertaining any discourse about the live-action Grinch movie because it is so deeply inferior to the original animated reimagining of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas that any kind of comparison would feel incredibly unfair. I will, however, be entertaining discourse about whether or not “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the most savage diss track of all time (it absolutely is).

If the idea of drinking a pickle in the form of Urban Artifact’s Xmas Pickle sounds intimidating, but intriguing, Pipeworks’ 4.5% ABV Sea Cucumbo Gose is a more subtle approach to the same salty concept. Brewed with sea salt and cucumbers, these briney beers are tangy, bright, and fresh. Still not sold on Gose? Try one of these guys and your beer-loving heart might just grow three sizes, you never know!

Diverging from our in-season Goses, This House is Haunted is a super fun 7% ABV IPA hopped with “an unholy amount” of Mosaic and Ella hops, and it pours green! This beer is as cuddly as a cactus, but like, in a cool way. And, I’ve quite simply never met a Four Quarters IPA that I didn’t totally dig. Some beer folks find colored beer gimmicky and tacky—I am not one of those folks. I think beer is meant to be fun! And what’s more fun than drinking a colorful brew, especially one as tasty as this! Maybe linking up with your buds around the Whoville tree to sing “Dahoo Dores,” but I bet even the Whos are social distancing this holiday season.

Can’t track down any pickle-y Goses or green brews in your area? Just grab anything you’d share with friends at a Who feast with Who pudding and roast beast! Large format beers are awesome gifts for the beer-lovers in your life—like this Game of Thrones-themed set from Ommegang. But no sharing with friends IRL in this economy! Best to not even touch one another with a 39-and-a-half foot pole.

Happy holidays ya filthy animals!