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91 Thoughts I Had During The Are You The One? Premier

Julia Cooper

Tonight is the night! Season 6 of Are You The One? premiered on MTV tonight and I am absolutely so excited for the coming season. What I love about this show is the high concentration of drama that comes as a result of 22 people drinking with reckless abandon as they try to connect with their mystery soulmate and win $1,000,000. Since we don't have much strategy dictating anyone's decisions yet, the first few episodes are guaranteed mayhem.

Bring it on.

Here were some of my thoughts while watching the premier.

  1. Wow, this foreshadowing is insane! 
  2. Like we are two minutes in and we have the producers breaking up a fight?
  3. Into it.
  4. *obligatory Mardi Gras and bayou B-Roll to establish the setting in New Orleans*
  5. Who tf is Terrence J? Where’s RYAN???
  6. “Our hope is that you will suck no more.” lol 
  7. They’re already saying one million dollars in unison, love it
  8. I miss Ryan.
  9. “You gotta go deeper.” lol
  10. Oh Jesus. A swiping challenge?
  11. OuR dEmOGraPhiC iS MiLLenNialS WhO lOve TIndER
  12. This rapping white dude with the snapback is truly overwhelming.
  13. His name is E-Money.
  14. E$?
  15. Jada is already calling someone out as her future husband?!
  16. In the middle of the first challenge.
  17. Okay.
  18. *dramatic shot of the Truth Gazebo*
  19. These jump cuts splicing together these slow motion modeling shots are making me dizzy.
  20. Ladies are already ranking dudes let’s goooo!
  21. Man-bun is a former Jehova’s Witness who grows weed for a living.
  22. And he just called himself interesting.
  23. E-Money: “She likes music. I like music. I really like talking about music.”
  24. Poor E-Money.
  25. I think he's so deep in his persona that he forgot how to exist like a normal human person.
  26. Is that mean? 
  27. “We need to get married right now.” Mhmm, I see you Episode One.
  28. YES THE BOOM BOOM ROOM.
  29. How did I forget about that.
  30. “I have pretty good reviews on Yelp.” I AM SCREAMING.
  31. Not for him.
  32. Not like her.
  33. But you get it.
  34. I can’t wait to see how these dates go after the commercial break.
  35. “I’m not just abs and eyes. I have a personality. I care about stuff.” HA.
  36. So here for the full squad confessionals. Great element of the show.
  37. Is anyone not attracted to bad boys?
  38. ALEXIS AND KEITH GET IT.
  39. At least E-Money’s heart isn’t the only thing getting broken tonight.
  40. Get it? Because the Boom Boom Lamp broke.
  41. Have you heard of this movie Flatliners?
  42. I haven’t seen a single commercial for it.
  43. Especially not as pre-roll on YouTube.
  44. Anyway, back to the show!
  45. OH BOY Instagram model dude is actually a sweetheart.
  46. BUTTERFLIES!!
  47. Can’t wait for them to get confirmed no match.
  48. How many hats does E-Money have?
  49. E-Money is a fan of sabotage!
  50. What a messy bitch!
  51. Love it.
  52. *obligatory jazz band shot*
  53. I do love the iconic high res slow mo shots in AYTO.
  54. Reminds me of a sorority recruitment video.
  55. You know shit’s getting real when the captions start coming up.
  56. *obligatory Bourbon Street shot*
  57. I do not understand the premise of the “90s House” show, but I’m on board.
  58. Ugh, I miss Ryan.
  59. But give me the Truth Booth!
  60. Ethan and Keyana? Y’all are really stupid.
  61. I guess it’s too early for everyone to be worried about missing out on the million dollars.
  62. Wait, but are you nervous?
  63. *obligatory Truth Booth cliffhanger*
  64. Yes. Obviously it’s no match.
  65. “Does anybody else like music?” DEAD.
  66. ROASTED.
  67. Aw, poor E-Money and his confidence crisis!
  68. Sloppy truth or dare!
  69. Yes give me those high school sleepover vibes!
  70. “It got way more intense than I thought it would.” 
  71. Because alcohol.
  72. Yessir that escalated so quickly.
  73. “Mama didn’t raise no bitch.” NO SHE DID NOT!
  74. Oh yikes, everyone’s already got trust issues?
  75. So much marriage talk!
  76. I love when they get so drunk that they need the captions.
  77. Like it’s not even noisy, the slurring is just that heavy.
  78. Yeesh, everyone is already so possessive!
  79. It’s gonna be a feisty season.
  80. That eight-pack is actually terrifying.
  81. A lot of steamy shower scenes tonight!
  82. MALCOLM! NO!
  83. I thought you weren’t a player!
  84. Diandra just called you her boyfriend!
  85. The editing here is phenomenal.
  86. Wow, I always forget how sketchy the bed situation is.
  87. How is this legal?
  88. That is definitely not up to code.
  89. The next episode is about to be so dramatic.
  90. This whole season is about to be so dramatic.
  91. I still miss Ryan though.